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Grieve Your Own Way – How Hallmark Movies and Clickbait Kept Me Afloat

The holidays can be a very happy and festive time of year.  But for a grieving heart, the holidays can be hard. You may not know this about me but my little brother Matthew Kaut passed away Thanksgiving, November 24, 2016.  So the holidays can be especially hard for me and my loved ones. I wanted to write this in case you or someone you know struggles with grief this time of year. Below is how I got through the absolute hardest time in my life.

I know this sounds slightly ridiculous

I can honestly say that Hallmark movies and Facebook clickbait helped me through this very difficult time.  For me, getting through the really tough parts was about distraction.  And as I think we all know, social media is a great distraction (for better or worse).  In the days after my brother’s passing I would lay in bed at my Aunt’s house and scroll, scroll, scrooooooollllllll.  I would go on every social media site I could think of. When that get boring I would start clicking EVERY link that was posted.  Even ads! Even obvious clickbait! “Rihanna moves to the Bay Area?” Sure! “25 Things Casinos don’t want you to know”? Yep! “Guaranteed ways to lose weight fast”?  Click, click, click.

When I did venture outside the spare bedroom, my Aunt fed me and we watched Hallmark movies.  You see, Hallmark movies (especially Christmas ones) ALWAYS have a happy ending. The guy and girl fall in love and end up together.  Santa always comes through in the end. And there is always ALWAYS a Christmas miracle. I could simply not risk watching anything else.  I needed a sure-fire happy ending.

So my point is this:  Grieve YOUR OWN way.

You may need to be surrounded by friends.  Going out, having fun, taking your mind off things.  For other people that may sound like a nightmare. They just want to lay on the couch and Netflix binge.  Working out maybe an answer for you. Sweating out all the negative energy. Or staying still and meditating and journaling may be a better fit.

There is no right way to grieve.

Please please do what’s right for you.  Don’t let anyone pressure you to do something that you’re not comfortable with.  At this super fragile time you need to do what’s best for you. I know your loved ones have the best intentions of cheering you up, but set boundaries and STICK TO THEM.  

One small caveat

DO NOT get stuck in grief.  Grief is like quicksand and it will suck you right in.  Weeks would go by and I would no recollection of what happened.  Set firm boundaries, yes. BUT leave the house every now and then if you’re a hibernator like me or take a rest/self care day if you are more prone to stay busy.

If you are feeling hopeless and alone please know there is hope and you are definitely not alone.  You can catch me in my The Imperfect Alchemist Facebook group or DM me on Instagram.  Further, you can click the discovery button below and we can chat about ways to get you through super difficult time.

Much love




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